The Messedup Chronicles of the Shichinintai!
by Eodaiya
Summary: You thought you knew them, but you couldn't have been farther from the truth. Beware the Humour2x in genre. It has a set of truth.


**A/N-I don't own InuYasha. Wait! Yes, yes I do! No..no, false alarm. Wait...no..yes no yes no no yes maybe no wait yes yes no maybe yes yes yes YES! No, I don't.And I KNOW I don't own Burger King. Or Bobobobo-bo...yeah, yeah.**

One day Bankotsu was watching TV. He saw a commercial for Burger King. The burger looked really good, all lettuc-ey and tomatoe-ey, although Bankotsu hates lettuce because it is healthy and murderers like Bankotsu can't stand health food.

"That burger is amazing!" Exclaimed Bankotsu as he turned off the TV. "Hey-Jakotsu! Let's go to Burger King and get burgers!"

Jakotsu turned to his O-aniki. Jakotsu was the air head of the group, as Bankotsu was the leader. "Okay!" He said happily, skipping towards Bankotsu. Chances are, if you encountered Jakotsu on a road and offered him candy if he came with you, he would take the candy and then murder you, because Jakotsu is a murderer like Bankotsu, who was fiercely pushing him out of the door. "I want Burger King!" Bankotsu growled at his kohai. "Let's go NOW!"

"Gesh!" Ginkotsu said. Actually, Ginkotsu thought 'Gesh' because nobody listened to his barely-recognizeable way of speech and his catch phrase was 'gesh'. Even if he said loudly and clearly "Gesh!" nobody would have heard him because he was parked outside next to a road, being the Shichinin-tai's main way of transportation.

Renkotsu walked to the Ginkotsu-mobile and turned the key in his ignition, which was Ginkotsu's eye. Renkotsu was the Shichinin-tai's evil dude of doom. Renkotsu laughed loudly and evil-y. "MWAHAHAHA!" He did laugh. "I WANNA RULE THE WORLD!" He thought. "NO-! WAIT! I JUST WANNA RULE THE BATALLION OF SEVEN! MWAHAHAHA! AND I'LL SHOW 'EM ALL! I'LL MAKE 'EM WEAR...MAID'S OUTFIT'S OR SOMETHING EMBARASSING LIKE THAT! AND I'LL TAKE PICTURES AND EMAIL THEM TO NARAKU! YEAH, THAT'LL SHOW 'EM! MWAHAHAHA!" But Renkotsu's laugh was cut short when he noticed the rest of the Shichinin-tai standing behind him, including the psychotic Suikotsu, fashion obsessed Mukotsu, and the evil munny-evil Kyoukotsu, who loved munny more than anything.

The Shichinin-tai drove to Burger King, Jakotsu was humming happily, cleaning his sword. Bankotsu was muttering angrily about how much he wanted Burger King and Renkotsu was muttering angrily about how much he hated Bankotsu. Ginkotsu said "Gesh!" After every popular song on the radio, Mukotsu said "That's hot!" and flashed his blingin' $5,000 Louis Vuitton purse. Kyoukotsu tried to grab pennies on the road and Suikotsu was murmuring to the voices in his head "I'm a good driver...I'm a good driver.." even though he was not driving. Which is good 'cause he has these wicked claws and he would break the steering wheel on the back of Ginkotsu's head.

And Kyoukotsu, who was bigger then the rest of the Shichinin-tai combined saw a nickel! "Oh, my Gawd!" he yelled, reaching for the nickel. He leaned out of the Ginkotsu and reached for the nickel, thus tipping the Ginkotsu over. Ginkotsu rolled down a hill and burst into flames and died but that's not important anyway.

Bankotsu collapsed on the ground in woe. "My only way of getting to Burger King!" he wailed. "Nooooo!" Renkotsu said nothing. Suikotsu continued to mumble to himself. Jakotsu kept on singing. Mukotsu began to cry. "Like, ohmygosh! Like, my make-up, was, like, totally in the Ginkotsu-mobile!" Kyoukotsu eeked out of the fanfiction because Bankotsu would kill him had he stayed for destroying his way to fast food. And Ginkotsu was dead and that makes seven!

"Well, since Ginkotsu died and Kyoukotsu vanished, there are only four of us left!" Jakotsu announced. Everyone stared at Jakotsu in shock but not that much because they all knew he could not read, write, or count to seven. "Let's hitch-hike!" Jakotsu said giddily, clapping his hands. After everyone recovered from having the silence broken so loudly, Bankotsu said "We. Are. Not. Hitch-hiking. Jakotsu." "Aww...c'mon Oo-aniki! Pweeease!" Jakotsu pleaded. "Pweeeeeeee-" "No." "-eeeeeeeeee-" "No." "-eeeeeeeeeeeeee-" "JAKOTSU! WE. ARE. NOT. HITCH-HIKING. AND. THAT. IS FINAL!" Bankotsu exploded. He was gettin' all mad, like, gettin' all red and steam was coming from his head. "Lyke, ohmygosh, steam is so totally out." Mukotsu said, spraying Bankotsu with a fire extinguisher. "GO DIE! HYYYYYYYAAA!" Bankotsu said in a rage, swinging Banryuu at Mukotsu. He knocked Mukotsu's little hat off and Mukotsu began to cry. "Lyke, ohmygosh Bankotsu! You're so mean!" He was crying because all had discovered that he was horribly bald. Mukotsu ran, crying, out of the fanfiction. He ran through the yaoi and the angst and the comedy fanfics right into the Bobobo-bobo-bobo fics, where he fell in love with Don Patch, and so on and so forth.

"Should we buy you some fries or something, Mukotsuuuuuuu?" Jakotsu yelled off into the distance after Mukotu's receeding figure. "Jakotsu, let's go." Bankotsu said, signaling to him and the remainder of the Shichinin-tai to follow him down the road.

5 HOURS LATER

"Oo-aniiiiiiiiiikiiiiiiiiii!" Jakotsu whined for the ninety-nine trillionth, seventy-six billion, four million, three hundred and forty-three thousand and fourth time. "When will we get to Burger King?" Bankotsu, enraged by the ninety-nine trillionth, seventy-six billion, four million, three hundred and forty-three thousand and fourth inturreption from Jakotsu whirled around. "Jakotsu. When we get to Burger King, we are there." Jakotsu whined as this was the ninety-nine trillionth, seventy-six billion, four million, three hundred and forty-three thousand and fourth time Bankotsu had given him this response. "How soon is that?"

"Soon enough."

"But that's not soon enough!"

"Jakotsu!"

"Oo-anikiiiiiiii!"

"No, Jakotsu..."

"Bankotsu!"

"No, really..."

"Asparagus!"

"What? No, Jakotsu-"

"Please?"

"NO! JAKOTSU! STOP INTERRUPTING ME!"

"Why?"

"THIS IS THE NINETY-NINE TRILLIONTH, SEVENTY-SIX BILLION, FOUR MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND FORTY-THREE THOUSAND AND _FIFTH_ INTERRUPTION! GAAAAAH!"

"Hey, Bankotsu, Suikotsu is on fire!"

"_Yes, _that's what I've been trying to tell you!"

"...tell me what?"

"THAT SUIKOTSU IS ON FIRE!"

Bankotsu picked up the very same fire extinguisher that the now Mrs. Don Patch had used to extinguish Bankotsu's unfashionable steam and extinguished Suikotsu. Bankotsu dropped the red utensil and looked at Suikotsu. "Suikotsu, why did you start yourself on fire?" he quired.

"Because the little voice in my head named Ezekiel told me to."

"Suikotsu, what have we told you about listening to Ezekiel?" Suikotsu nervously played with a random carrot he thought he saw. "You told me that If Ezekiel told me to start things on fire again to tell him to screw off." Bankotsu looked critically at the deranged assassin. "Did you tell Ezekiel to screw off?" Suikotsu sighed. "No. I told him to Get the f+ck away or I'd f+uckin beat his damn+d a+s all the way to New Jer+ey." Bankotsu looked in shock at Suikotsu, wondering why he'd sensor "New Jer+ey". "Uhhh...well, that's good too...I guess..." Suikotsu ate the random carrot he thoguht he saw and suddenly loved carrots.

He loved them so.

Every orange one!

Suikotsu, upon eating his very first albeit imagniary vegetable, loved them so. So he became a farmer so he could farm the little veggies into submission.

And then there were two...

Jakotsu was happily occupying himself by singing the song that never ends and Bankotsu was enjoying chopping down tree-lets with Banryuu. Now that there were only two left, it sadly became the ninintai, and this fanfic as you are reading it is "The Messed-up Chronicles of the Ninin-tai!"

Bankotsu was mad, hungry, and his left foot had fallen asleep! He out his hand in his pocket and felt his fingers connect with something. From his pocket he did pull...an ID card!

"Damn!" Bankotsu swore. "I forgot! I have work early tomorrow! And we're lost and it's dark! How am I gonna get to work!" Jakotsu was intrested. He stopped the singing and at the same time, several car alarms stopped going off. "Hey, Bankotsu-Niisan, I didn't know you worked!"

Bankotsu nodded. "Yeah, I work at Burger King." Jakotsu then did ponder. And he pondered more, until he got a headache. "Bankotsu-Niisan, isn't that where we're trying to get to? For burgers!" Bankotsu stopped to think. He never realized before that his place of employment was the same as his place of fast food eating. "You're right! Now we have to get there twice as much!"

---

After the battle with the giant octopus and the other battle with King Nose Hair, Bankotsu and Jakotsu found themselves at sunrise. Over the horizon, they saw a building. It was not for 37 long seconds did they realize what the building was.

Was it...?

Could it be...?

BURGER KING!

"Hey, look! Our apartment! We're back where we started!" Shouted Jakotsu with glee (like toothpaste). Bankotsu fumed (like InuYasha). "Damn! We didn't get anywhere!" Bankotsu sighed with defeat, for the Ichinin-tai and Jakotsu, who was off in his own world, had come full circle.

With a sigh, Bankotsu entered the building. He walked up a few flights of stairs when over the horizon he saw it! A giant floating burger! He jumped onto the burger and together they glided into the sunset with Jakotsu in the background singing "American Pie" and Mukotsu, who had Don Patch's children was dressed up as Batman and flying beside them

FIN


End file.
